It's a question we're all asked since the age of about five. There are those kids that know the answer from day one and never waver, and there are those kids whose answer is different every week, but at least they have an answer. And then there are kids like me, who in all honesty, have never had a clue.
Not that I think there's a problem with not knowing. My aunt didn't know what she wanted to do right up until the day she filled in the paperwork. The first thing she ticked, practically at random, was 'speech pathologist', and she hasn't regretted it since. Of course, not everyone's as lucky, but that's a little bit of spontaneity I admire.
Society has this sort of a 'life framework', as I see it, and it pressures us all to adhere to it as best we can. If you don't know what you want to do with your life at the end of 12 or 13 years of schoolwork, you obviously haven't given the matter enough thought, and should go home and seriously rethink the way you're living your life. Previously, I've felt this to be true, and have considered myself seriously encumbered by my lack of direction.
More recently, though, I've come to realise that life in general is a wonderful, spontaneous thing, and cannot possibly be confined to a framework such as many people attempt to restrict it to. I think I'm becoming more desirous of this kind of spontaneity, and find myself more often rejecting the humdrum nature of my current life. Not that it's a bad life - quite to the contrary, in fact. But when I get out of school I want to spend at least a while living some form of thoroughly unstructured lifestyle that does not involve university. I should indeed get a job, but other than that...
In the long term, I do want a 'proper' job, not the check-out chick type part time job that every high schooler has, but to be honest, I don't want my life ruled by my career. I'm not the ambitious, career driven woman that many of my friends are - aspiring lawyers, engineers, nurses, and marine biologists as they are.
I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I know that I want some kind of wonderful, spontaneous life that involves more surprises than not. I don't care that I don't know what to do yet - next year I will do something, and that's good enough for me. I may get to uni, I may not (imagine that - probable OP1 student never attends uni), but either way I just plan, for now, to try and enjoy myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment